Tag Archives: Rest

Grace and “Getting Saved”

GRACE.  A strong and powerful word.  GRACE. A word that is used too flippantly.  What do we know about grace? What is Getting Saved Mean?

We are told by church, friends, leaders or whoever that if you want to receive Jesus in to your heart and have eternal life then you pray a prayer.  What is that???!!!

When I got saved and prayed the prayer,  I was in 8th grade I had my sweet friend Kelly with me.  She was my middle school leader, her husband was the middle school pastor.  We spent so much time together.  She would tell me all about this Jesus and how He loves me.  I still remember not really buying into this Jesus thing.  This went on for almost 2 years.

I dont remember what changed in my mind or heart but something did.  Kelly and I were at TCBY in Ponte Vedra and something came over me, very overwhelming sense of peace, joy and a little scared.  I told her I was ready.  I am sure if you asked her she probably would tell you she was so pumped!!!  She lead me through the prayer of accepting Jesus into my heart.  Something changed in the heavens, a transaction happened, and my heart WAS changed forever.  I still remember Kelly telling me about this new life I would have.  She NEVER told me it was going to be easy.  I fact she would always tell me, This is the hardest but sweetest journey you’ll ever be on.  I never believed her!

I did change the next year, but not for the good.  I changed for the worse.  So here’s the short version of my summer going into my 9th grade year.

I moved to a different county, which meant I was going to a different high school than all my friends.  I was alone, lost and scared.  I went on a path that was hard, scary, fun at times and dark.  I was always looking for attention in anything and everything.  I was a liar, a cheater and a fake and I was a leader, terrible friend and a promiscuous girl.  I went on to 10 years of drugs, drinking, lying, sex, hurting others, 2 pregnancies that ended in abortions and a list of people that hurt me and a longer list of people who I hurt.

That day at TCBY it was REAL.  It was a real transaction.  Kelly did not give me a neatly package gospel, she was always honest about the hard moments and sweet moments.  She never lied to me about this journey.  Its not JUST a prayer.  Its a new life.

After my 10 years of running away

I was tired,

worn out

and ready to give up.

I have never felt real Grace until 2009……

Grace is lying in your mess of junk and you feel loved, Grace is confessing your abortions before the Lord and having an overwhelming sense of love.  Grace is having a friend for 19 years NEVER giving up Hope.  Grace is lying in your bed scared about tomorrow and a rush of wind comes over you and you feel love. Grace is knowing that your sweet Jesus was with you during all your time running away from Him.  Grace is realizing He never left you, you left Him and you are still loved.

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Grace is LOVE. God is Love. God is Grace.

Dont settle for cheap grace.  Get the real deal!

This call to follow Him is heavier than prayer.

Being saved is leaving everything and following Jesus.

He wants your heart.

He wants ALL of you, not just some of you.

I remember lying in bed many nights, crying out to this God who so graciously welcomed me back into his Kingdom and thinking, Why? How is this possible?  I would hear the still small voice saying,

  “because you are mine, you have always been mine”

Thank you Jesus for GRACE.  Remind me everyday how much I am nothing without you.

I was made BRAND NEW!!!

“Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”- Mark 10:21

Examine your heart.  Are you going to church and saying your prayers and really not giving all to Him? Are you worshiping on Sundays and Mondays you are back to the old?

I want more, I am asking for more of Him.  I don’t want cheap grace.  I want to live fully in Him.

Love you

Alexa:)

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Deep Grout Work

It’s a snow day for us here at the Sponcia Home and for East Tennessee!  Its always a gift when these days come.  It is days for rest, recoup and time with family and time with Jesus.  I have never been a person that is able to just sit and rest.  I always have to be doing something.  Cleaning, laundry, on the phone or anything that involved moving.  These snow days have been different for me.  I have worked and got a lot done, I have cooked, I have rested and believe it or not I read!

This morning I woke up from a long night up wrestling with some demons in my head (this is a season for this, sadly).  I got out of bed, made coffee, cooked breakfast for me and Paul and sat and stared at the white blanket over the backyard.  The white blanket is so beautiful, it reminds me that He makes us white as snow.  He takes all of our poop, mess and crap and makes us clean each morning.  His mercies ARE new every morning.  It was a sweet moment thinking about how sweet our Jesus is.  Then, BOOM my ADHD hits me and I look at my kitchen floor and the grout is so gross!  I thought

” I have to clean this now!”

I get my handy dandy grout brush, my chemicals and a towel to clean up.  I stood up and looked how much space I was about to clean I was overwhelmed, so I decided to start small.  I started with 5 tiles at a time.  I started and was amazed how clean the grout was looking.  Little by little I was scrubbing grout and wiping the old dirt off with the towel.

IMG_2751 A little pic of white and black tiles!

I was getting there, slowly and with a lot of elbow grease and scrubbing.  On my knees scrubbing with this little grout brush….

IMG_2752the Lord Says…

“You are worth it, you are worth the elbow grease, scrubbing and being made clean.”

I thought…“Lord you are so sweet to still enter in to my soul while I should be resting in you, you meet me in my crazyville of cleaning!”

I was finished and stood up and saw the finished product.  It was AWESOME!  Shiny, white and looks like a completely different floor!  I was so pumped!

Cleaning up my mess I looked at the towel that I used to wipe the dirt from the grout after scrubbing…ewwww

IMG_2753 I was done!  It was finished…

The Lord makes all things new.  I am forever changed by Him.  I am blown away looking at my floor and thinking about my story.  He gave me free will to run and do my life the way I wanted.  Then He comes in the night and whisks me off my feet.  I remember being in my room one night after I moved to Tennessee and I had nothing left.

My body was worn, my heart was broken, my legs were tired, my hands were empty, my feet had sores, my whole body had cuts and bruises and I was hemorrhaging.  I had no one, I had nothing more to give.  No more lies, no more drugs, no more sex….I was alone.  He came to rescue.  I only wanted Jesus.  I kept saying Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.  He came and stole my heart.  He forgave.  He loved.  He wanted ME.  I imagined Him cleaning my body and face with a towel and the dirt, shame, hurt and pain came off the towel and it looks like my towel above, if not worse.

Form that point forward something dramatically changed in me.  I was forever different and forever in love with my maker.

We worked together to clean out and scrub my “grout.”  It was and still is at times painful but when you stand back and see what Jesus has done in your life, my life and others your amazed.  You feel different and look different.

Are you in the middle of your “grout” work?  Are you tired, worn and want to give up? DON’T, there is more.  He wants to give you all of Him.  The more painful it is during the “grout” work the more beautiful it becomes.  He isn’t leaving you to do the work alone, He is with you, He always has been and will NEVER LEAVE.  Press on Sister, keep moving, you are WORTH the work.

Matthew 11:29The Message (MSG)
28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

 

Thank you Jesus for cleaning me and making me new.  Thank you for the deep sadness and pain, because if I didn’t have that I wouldn’t have met the REAL YOU!

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Alexa:)

via Alexa Sponcia.