Tag Archives: Relationships

Grace and “Getting Saved”

GRACE.  A strong and powerful word.  GRACE. A word that is used too flippantly.  What do we know about grace? What is Getting Saved Mean?

We are told by church, friends, leaders or whoever that if you want to receive Jesus in to your heart and have eternal life then you pray a prayer.  What is that???!!!

When I got saved and prayed the prayer,  I was in 8th grade I had my sweet friend Kelly with me.  She was my middle school leader, her husband was the middle school pastor.  We spent so much time together.  She would tell me all about this Jesus and how He loves me.  I still remember not really buying into this Jesus thing.  This went on for almost 2 years.

I dont remember what changed in my mind or heart but something did.  Kelly and I were at TCBY in Ponte Vedra and something came over me, very overwhelming sense of peace, joy and a little scared.  I told her I was ready.  I am sure if you asked her she probably would tell you she was so pumped!!!  She lead me through the prayer of accepting Jesus into my heart.  Something changed in the heavens, a transaction happened, and my heart WAS changed forever.  I still remember Kelly telling me about this new life I would have.  She NEVER told me it was going to be easy.  I fact she would always tell me, This is the hardest but sweetest journey you’ll ever be on.  I never believed her!

I did change the next year, but not for the good.  I changed for the worse.  So here’s the short version of my summer going into my 9th grade year.

I moved to a different county, which meant I was going to a different high school than all my friends.  I was alone, lost and scared.  I went on a path that was hard, scary, fun at times and dark.  I was always looking for attention in anything and everything.  I was a liar, a cheater and a fake and I was a leader, terrible friend and a promiscuous girl.  I went on to 10 years of drugs, drinking, lying, sex, hurting others, 2 pregnancies that ended in abortions and a list of people that hurt me and a longer list of people who I hurt.

That day at TCBY it was REAL.  It was a real transaction.  Kelly did not give me a neatly package gospel, she was always honest about the hard moments and sweet moments.  She never lied to me about this journey.  Its not JUST a prayer.  Its a new life.

After my 10 years of running away

I was tired,

worn out

and ready to give up.

I have never felt real Grace until 2009……

Grace is lying in your mess of junk and you feel loved, Grace is confessing your abortions before the Lord and having an overwhelming sense of love.  Grace is having a friend for 19 years NEVER giving up Hope.  Grace is lying in your bed scared about tomorrow and a rush of wind comes over you and you feel love. Grace is knowing that your sweet Jesus was with you during all your time running away from Him.  Grace is realizing He never left you, you left Him and you are still loved.

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Grace is LOVE. God is Love. God is Grace.

Dont settle for cheap grace.  Get the real deal!

This call to follow Him is heavier than prayer.

Being saved is leaving everything and following Jesus.

He wants your heart.

He wants ALL of you, not just some of you.

I remember lying in bed many nights, crying out to this God who so graciously welcomed me back into his Kingdom and thinking, Why? How is this possible?  I would hear the still small voice saying,

  “because you are mine, you have always been mine”

Thank you Jesus for GRACE.  Remind me everyday how much I am nothing without you.

I was made BRAND NEW!!!

“Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”- Mark 10:21

Examine your heart.  Are you going to church and saying your prayers and really not giving all to Him? Are you worshiping on Sundays and Mondays you are back to the old?

I want more, I am asking for more of Him.  I don’t want cheap grace.  I want to live fully in Him.

Love you

Alexa:)

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Love Day!

I have a love and hate relationship with Valentines Day.  When I was single it was a hate relationship.  I would see all the couples on social media saying sweet things to each other, dinner dates and too mushy mushy! Then I would be dating and I would love it.  Then single again, hate it!

Growing up I watched so many movies and T.V. shows  about love ( Dirty Dancing, Grease, Friends, You’ve Got Mail, anything with Jennifer Aniston) .  The guys and girl fall in love, they go running in a field holding hands, he says the perfect things to her and they live happily ever after.  I wanted to be Rachel and my boyfriend should be Ross (Friends).   What they would never put in the movies and T.V  is real life.  Real fighting, real pain, real hurt, real grieving or even real love.  So needless to say when I got married I was blindsided by any argument.  Now, I will put on record that I am well aware that people fight and people have conflict and people hurt.  I am pretty feisty and witty, I can hold my own!!

What I didn’t know was how long the fights are and how painful they hurt.  I needed harmony and peace ALL THE TIME!

HA!  Little did I know.  Side note: My husband Paul and I love each other so much its kind of creepy.  Anyone we are close with knows our deep love for each other.

After you get married you find out things about each other you didn’t know, or didn’t want to know in my case!  I obviously didn’t get his memo about Valentines Day!  This year he did tell me we aren’t going to do anything, which is totally fine and I was so good with that, BUT…..I went ahead and got him his own cute little brown box with a chalkboard sticker on it that says “I love you babe” and inside was his favorite candies, coffee..etc.  I made him special pancakes too!  He looked at me and said “I thought we weren’t doing anything.”

He was correct! I love giving.  I couldn’t not give him something.  It was Valentines Day for goodness sake!  Well, immediately I feel unwanted, angry and really hurt.  I went about the day sulking.  I mean really sulking, lip out, eyebrows and forehead wrinkled ALL DAY.

In the meantime throughout the day while were hanging out I was telling Jesus “I should have no expectations, I should give without a thought of receiving, I just need to love that Paul is hanging out and we are enjoying each others company.”

I won’t go into the whole rest of the story of us arguing and me eventually crying (which is totally normal!!).  But what I will tell you is….

Jesus gives without any expectation back form us.  He gives freely and loves unconditionally.  We have gifts ALL THE TIME and do we say thank you?  What do we do in return?

Yesterday was hard.  I felt defeated.  I was hurt.  Not to mention we didn’t run in the field holding hands and kissing!

It made me realize how much we are loved by Christ and how much we are given.  I want to live in a place that I have zero expectations of people and meet them right where they are.  I desire for a heart so full of the Spirit that I love giving and loving people and not even thinking or question what am I getting back.  Also, why on one day do we show how much we love people?  Its EVERYDAY.   Valentines Day is a day that is made up for retailers to make a lot of money (my opinion).

I challenge you to make everyday Love Day!

Alexa:)

P.S. We ended up having a sweet date last night:) God is so good to weave us together!