Tag Archives: Jesus

The Old is Gone, the New has come…

“what you complete is completely done..”

Beautiful song by Sovereign Grace.  You should go listen to it now!!

I have been traveling a ton lately, first vacation with the family (kids and all!!) and then I had a trip home to Florida by myself to see my family.  I was so looking forward to the trip alone.  Not because I wanted to get away from kids and husband, but to really be alone and enjoy the quiet presence of Jesus.  I had a total of 17 beautiful hours in the car with sunny skies, not a drop of rain and quiet.  Oh and not to mention I was going to see my Dad in Florida for the 2nd time since 1994!!! WOWZA!

The 8.5 hour drive there was amazing.  Listening to a ton of Louis Giglio, worshiping to awesome Bethel Music, having great conversations with the Lord and of course little dance parties to C & C Music Factory in between!  The Lord revealed a lot to me in that 8.5 hours.  So much, overwhelming, sweet and really uncomfortable too. My first stop is my Dad and his wife’s house on the beach.  I was not nervous at all, I was so excited to see them.  The last time I saw them was about a year before I got married. Let me remind you that when I moved to Florida in 1993 or 1994 that was the last time I saw my dad until I got in contact with him a year before my wedding in 2013. So kind of a big deal!!!  I spent about 2 days with them in St. Augustine.  It was great, hard and revealing all at the same time.  Ill get into the hard and revealing part some other time.

Then on to see my sister, mom, brother-in-law, the coolest niece and nephew and friends!!! I had a blast being with my niece and nephew.  They bring so much joy.  Children are a sweet picture of really being child-like and playful with the Lord.

It was time to leave after 7 days of missing my husband and remembering the past.

I left at 5:45am on Sunday morning.  I was ready to go home in my own bed, my husband and back to normal.  I was looking forward to another 8.5 hours with a sweet time with the Lord.  As I was driving out of Jacksonville I started to replay the life I use to have.  I was thinking about all the nights with no sleep, nights of pain, days of heartache, but also fun days I had.  Many days and nights of partying, drugs, sex and hurt.  I was thinking about how before I got married I would typically be driving home (TN) from Jacksonville with not much sleep, hungover from drinking or drugs, feeling crappy about myself.  Thinking why in the world amI still doing this crap when I go to FL.

This time leaving felt different.  Because, It WAS different. THANK YOU JESUS.

For 8 hours I was reminded of the horrible things I did to other people, the horrible things people did to me, the sleepless nights, the endless partying and no Jesus.  I was so heartbroken thinking about all those years without Him.  All the confusion and restlessness. I was a mess driving.  People driving by were probably thinking that I was crazy.  I was talking really loud (no one was in the car), crying uncontrollably and then laughing and singing.  I looked like a lunatic.

But……..All that crazy mess, I was rejoicing with the Lord.  I was praising Him for the beautiful mess I was and still am.  I was thanking Him for being such a gentleman when I was running.

You see, our God is a God of compassion.  Our God is a God of redemption.  Our God is a God of second chances. Our God is a God of peace.  Our God is a God of restoration.  Our God is a God of reconciliation.  Our God is LOVE.

I ran my mess for many many years and that drive was the first drive alone I was completely free.  I was reminded of how big our God is.  I was reminded that I am forgiven.  I was reminded that there is a plan for me.  I was reminded that He will use my story.  I was remind that He makes all things for my good.

Thank you JESUS!!!  More chains were broken, more healing happened and I was closer to Him in those moments that I have felt in a long time.

There is always a part of me that is scared to tell my story, the whole story.  I am always nervous of the gasps, looks and wide-eyed reactions (which I get often) when I tell my whole story.  Its a vulnerable place to be in front of a large group or small group of girls and women sharing all of you.

Since 2009 I have always known I was called to share my story.  I was always ready and willing but I never really knew the depth of His love for me until that drive.  I always knew He loved me but as I was driving I was replaying MY WHOLE PAST, and blown away in amazement and shock that the man who died on the cross, the man who gave His life for me, the man who rose from the grave, the man who knows my intimate thoughts is in love with ME!!!! He is the best Abba Father.

Since 2009 He has been perusing me, loving me, letting me fall and run, felt deep compassion for me and with me.

Before I got home I was having a conversation about me not really thinking that I should be teaching young girls and how I probably heard him wrong in 2009!!!  He spoke such sweet words to be before I arrived to my husband.

He said “I just want you to share our Love Story”

Got it!  Done! I can do that!  I love our love story.  Its the best!

I will always struggle, I will always fall, I will always have moment of not believing He really loves me.  But deep down in my core….I know know know know He and I have this Love story and I will always be blown away and I will always share!

I encourage you to share your story.  Share your Love Story.  Your worth it.  You matter.  Your story matters.

“The Old has gone, the new has come, what you complete is completely done….”

Listen to this song…..rejoice with Him!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2Z3Jefn-GY


You have a Love Story.  Share it!


Grace and “Getting Saved”

GRACE.  A strong and powerful word.  GRACE. A word that is used too flippantly.  What do we know about grace? What is Getting Saved Mean?

We are told by church, friends, leaders or whoever that if you want to receive Jesus in to your heart and have eternal life then you pray a prayer.  What is that???!!!

When I got saved and prayed the prayer,  I was in 8th grade I had my sweet friend Kelly with me.  She was my middle school leader, her husband was the middle school pastor.  We spent so much time together.  She would tell me all about this Jesus and how He loves me.  I still remember not really buying into this Jesus thing.  This went on for almost 2 years.

I dont remember what changed in my mind or heart but something did.  Kelly and I were at TCBY in Ponte Vedra and something came over me, very overwhelming sense of peace, joy and a little scared.  I told her I was ready.  I am sure if you asked her she probably would tell you she was so pumped!!!  She lead me through the prayer of accepting Jesus into my heart.  Something changed in the heavens, a transaction happened, and my heart WAS changed forever.  I still remember Kelly telling me about this new life I would have.  She NEVER told me it was going to be easy.  I fact she would always tell me, This is the hardest but sweetest journey you’ll ever be on.  I never believed her!

I did change the next year, but not for the good.  I changed for the worse.  So here’s the short version of my summer going into my 9th grade year.

I moved to a different county, which meant I was going to a different high school than all my friends.  I was alone, lost and scared.  I went on a path that was hard, scary, fun at times and dark.  I was always looking for attention in anything and everything.  I was a liar, a cheater and a fake and I was a leader, terrible friend and a promiscuous girl.  I went on to 10 years of drugs, drinking, lying, sex, hurting others, 2 pregnancies that ended in abortions and a list of people that hurt me and a longer list of people who I hurt.

That day at TCBY it was REAL.  It was a real transaction.  Kelly did not give me a neatly package gospel, she was always honest about the hard moments and sweet moments.  She never lied to me about this journey.  Its not JUST a prayer.  Its a new life.

After my 10 years of running away

I was tired,

worn out

and ready to give up.

I have never felt real Grace until 2009……

Grace is lying in your mess of junk and you feel loved, Grace is confessing your abortions before the Lord and having an overwhelming sense of love.  Grace is having a friend for 19 years NEVER giving up Hope.  Grace is lying in your bed scared about tomorrow and a rush of wind comes over you and you feel love. Grace is knowing that your sweet Jesus was with you during all your time running away from Him.  Grace is realizing He never left you, you left Him and you are still loved.


Grace is LOVE. God is Love. God is Grace.

Dont settle for cheap grace.  Get the real deal!

This call to follow Him is heavier than prayer.

Being saved is leaving everything and following Jesus.

He wants your heart.

He wants ALL of you, not just some of you.

I remember lying in bed many nights, crying out to this God who so graciously welcomed me back into his Kingdom and thinking, Why? How is this possible?  I would hear the still small voice saying,

  “because you are mine, you have always been mine”

Thank you Jesus for GRACE.  Remind me everyday how much I am nothing without you.

I was made BRAND NEW!!!

“Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”- Mark 10:21

Examine your heart.  Are you going to church and saying your prayers and really not giving all to Him? Are you worshiping on Sundays and Mondays you are back to the old?

I want more, I am asking for more of Him.  I don’t want cheap grace.  I want to live fully in Him.

Love you


Deep Grout Work

It’s a snow day for us here at the Sponcia Home and for East Tennessee!  Its always a gift when these days come.  It is days for rest, recoup and time with family and time with Jesus.  I have never been a person that is able to just sit and rest.  I always have to be doing something.  Cleaning, laundry, on the phone or anything that involved moving.  These snow days have been different for me.  I have worked and got a lot done, I have cooked, I have rested and believe it or not I read!

This morning I woke up from a long night up wrestling with some demons in my head (this is a season for this, sadly).  I got out of bed, made coffee, cooked breakfast for me and Paul and sat and stared at the white blanket over the backyard.  The white blanket is so beautiful, it reminds me that He makes us white as snow.  He takes all of our poop, mess and crap and makes us clean each morning.  His mercies ARE new every morning.  It was a sweet moment thinking about how sweet our Jesus is.  Then, BOOM my ADHD hits me and I look at my kitchen floor and the grout is so gross!  I thought

” I have to clean this now!”

I get my handy dandy grout brush, my chemicals and a towel to clean up.  I stood up and looked how much space I was about to clean I was overwhelmed, so I decided to start small.  I started with 5 tiles at a time.  I started and was amazed how clean the grout was looking.  Little by little I was scrubbing grout and wiping the old dirt off with the towel.

IMG_2751 A little pic of white and black tiles!

I was getting there, slowly and with a lot of elbow grease and scrubbing.  On my knees scrubbing with this little grout brush….

IMG_2752the Lord Says…

“You are worth it, you are worth the elbow grease, scrubbing and being made clean.”

I thought…“Lord you are so sweet to still enter in to my soul while I should be resting in you, you meet me in my crazyville of cleaning!”

I was finished and stood up and saw the finished product.  It was AWESOME!  Shiny, white and looks like a completely different floor!  I was so pumped!

Cleaning up my mess I looked at the towel that I used to wipe the dirt from the grout after scrubbing…ewwww

IMG_2753 I was done!  It was finished…

The Lord makes all things new.  I am forever changed by Him.  I am blown away looking at my floor and thinking about my story.  He gave me free will to run and do my life the way I wanted.  Then He comes in the night and whisks me off my feet.  I remember being in my room one night after I moved to Tennessee and I had nothing left.

My body was worn, my heart was broken, my legs were tired, my hands were empty, my feet had sores, my whole body had cuts and bruises and I was hemorrhaging.  I had no one, I had nothing more to give.  No more lies, no more drugs, no more sex….I was alone.  He came to rescue.  I only wanted Jesus.  I kept saying Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.  He came and stole my heart.  He forgave.  He loved.  He wanted ME.  I imagined Him cleaning my body and face with a towel and the dirt, shame, hurt and pain came off the towel and it looks like my towel above, if not worse.

Form that point forward something dramatically changed in me.  I was forever different and forever in love with my maker.

We worked together to clean out and scrub my “grout.”  It was and still is at times painful but when you stand back and see what Jesus has done in your life, my life and others your amazed.  You feel different and look different.

Are you in the middle of your “grout” work?  Are you tired, worn and want to give up? DON’T, there is more.  He wants to give you all of Him.  The more painful it is during the “grout” work the more beautiful it becomes.  He isn’t leaving you to do the work alone, He is with you, He always has been and will NEVER LEAVE.  Press on Sister, keep moving, you are WORTH the work.

Matthew 11:29The Message (MSG)
28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”


Thank you Jesus for cleaning me and making me new.  Thank you for the deep sadness and pain, because if I didn’t have that I wouldn’t have met the REAL YOU!



via Alexa Sponcia.