Life is Short 

I was sitting in Thompson Cancer Center for an appointment and it was the most beautiful and saddest moments of my life. I was already nervous about the appointment thinking about all the outcomes that could happen after this appointment. If I’m being really honest I was really more concerned about myself than anything or anyone else. (I’ll talk about that later!)

When I first arrived I checked in, gave my info, looked around, thought about stuff, filled out paperwork then I sat down with nothing to do besides embrace and be in the moment. 

I finally looked around and stopped thinking about me, me and more of me, I felt deep pain for the women, teenagers and men sitting with me. 

I sat back and listened in on some of the conversations  everyone was having. Some patients were just there to get blood work done, some where there to meet with their doctor and the others that were there were supporting the patient.

 I looked over at one women who had no hair and she had two of her friends with her.  I listen in on her conversation and my thought was (I bet she is so sad, sad about her hair (I would be!), sad that she has cancer, sad that she’s here). BOY, was I wrong! She was full of joy and hope and love.

I listened into a couple more conversations and it was all “normal” talking. Nothing depressing. Nothing about cancer, just everyday life!

That day changed me forever. I went to my appointment and thought “whatever the results were I choose life and joy!”

I was very disappointed in myself, embarrassed that I care so much about my hair, the way I look and what others think of me. 

I look up to those brave and courageous people. I want more of what they have. Which I know is strange Bc I am healthy as the world sees us. But in reality they are more healthy than I am right now!

Daily they choose

Life, joy, peace, hope, no drama, no gossip and they hold on to the promises. 

I don’t choose this daily.  I want to but my life gets hard and I want to quit. I know it’s a poor excuse but I am being brutally honest. 

I left the appointment in awe of The Lord. 

This world is so broken, life hands you poop sometimes and even cancer but if we choose life and Jesus then it looks very  different. It looks like HOPE. 

We are only here on earth for a moment. I want my moment to be amazing and I want my moment to be what and how He wants me to be and do!!

In pain, hurt, disease and sadness- CHOOSE JESUS!! He is the healer, He is the great physician, He gives life!! Open your hands and receive the living water that He has for you. 

Stop complaining, moping, being bitter about the past or present- open your hands and receive the real love and truth. 


Love Ya

Alexa 🙂

Live Love Hope 

To LIVE in the world is hard to not watch the media of what they tell us how yo look, talk, act and even walk is so difficult. We belong to Him. He tells us who we really are. ASK HIM!!! Ask Him what He thinks about you. (I would love to hear the stories of how He responds!)

To LOVE in this world when There is hate, crime and injustice is gut wrenching. What would it look like to just love with no agenda or expectation?  Love WINS every time. 

 To have and to give HOPE. Dream BIG. Be hopeful. There’s more. Ask for more. Be extravagant  in what you ask for. Ask for more than the box you have put Him in!! 


He is ALIVE 

I woke up this morning thinking about Easter coming up. I am not ready. What I mean by I am not ready is that my heart isn’t in a place of really remembering and being present of what Easter is all about.  I think each of our lives are so busy and crazy. We have soccer practice, work, driving kids to and from everywhere, cooking, cleaning and so on. We forget what our mission is. We forget that we only exist for Him. We forget that He died for us. We forget that He rose from the grave Bc He loves us that much. We forget so much. I desire to be in a place of true and authentic love for Him. As we go into Good Friday and Easter I pray that we all take time to sit and be still to remember why we are here.  I am reminded that our mission is daily. Our mission is in our home. Our mission is to serve Him and GO into the world and Love with no expectation. thankful for His life. Thankful for the grave, Thankful that The grave could not hold him down!!   Praying for more. In need of grace and mercy.   


Grace and “Getting Saved”

GRACE.  A strong and powerful word.  GRACE. A word that is used too flippantly.  What do we know about grace? What is Getting Saved Mean?

We are told by church, friends, leaders or whoever that if you want to receive Jesus in to your heart and have eternal life then you pray a prayer.  What is that???!!!

When I got saved and prayed the prayer,  I was in 8th grade I had my sweet friend Kelly with me.  She was my middle school leader, her husband was the middle school pastor.  We spent so much time together.  She would tell me all about this Jesus and how He loves me.  I still remember not really buying into this Jesus thing.  This went on for almost 2 years.

I dont remember what changed in my mind or heart but something did.  Kelly and I were at TCBY in Ponte Vedra and something came over me, very overwhelming sense of peace, joy and a little scared.  I told her I was ready.  I am sure if you asked her she probably would tell you she was so pumped!!!  She lead me through the prayer of accepting Jesus into my heart.  Something changed in the heavens, a transaction happened, and my heart WAS changed forever.  I still remember Kelly telling me about this new life I would have.  She NEVER told me it was going to be easy.  I fact she would always tell me, This is the hardest but sweetest journey you’ll ever be on.  I never believed her!

I did change the next year, but not for the good.  I changed for the worse.  So here’s the short version of my summer going into my 9th grade year.

I moved to a different county, which meant I was going to a different high school than all my friends.  I was alone, lost and scared.  I went on a path that was hard, scary, fun at times and dark.  I was always looking for attention in anything and everything.  I was a liar, a cheater and a fake and I was a leader, terrible friend and a promiscuous girl.  I went on to 10 years of drugs, drinking, lying, sex, hurting others, 2 pregnancies that ended in abortions and a list of people that hurt me and a longer list of people who I hurt.

That day at TCBY it was REAL.  It was a real transaction.  Kelly did not give me a neatly package gospel, she was always honest about the hard moments and sweet moments.  She never lied to me about this journey.  Its not JUST a prayer.  Its a new life.

After my 10 years of running away

I was tired,

worn out

and ready to give up.

I have never felt real Grace until 2009……

Grace is lying in your mess of junk and you feel loved, Grace is confessing your abortions before the Lord and having an overwhelming sense of love.  Grace is having a friend for 19 years NEVER giving up Hope.  Grace is lying in your bed scared about tomorrow and a rush of wind comes over you and you feel love. Grace is knowing that your sweet Jesus was with you during all your time running away from Him.  Grace is realizing He never left you, you left Him and you are still loved.


Grace is LOVE. God is Love. God is Grace.

Dont settle for cheap grace.  Get the real deal!

This call to follow Him is heavier than prayer.

Being saved is leaving everything and following Jesus.

He wants your heart.

He wants ALL of you, not just some of you.

I remember lying in bed many nights, crying out to this God who so graciously welcomed me back into his Kingdom and thinking, Why? How is this possible?  I would hear the still small voice saying,

  “because you are mine, you have always been mine”

Thank you Jesus for GRACE.  Remind me everyday how much I am nothing without you.

I was made BRAND NEW!!!

“Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”- Mark 10:21

Examine your heart.  Are you going to church and saying your prayers and really not giving all to Him? Are you worshiping on Sundays and Mondays you are back to the old?

I want more, I am asking for more of Him.  I don’t want cheap grace.  I want to live fully in Him.

Love you


I WANT MORE!!!!!!!

He’s awakening the hope in me 
By calling forth my destiny 
He’s breathing life 
Into my soul 
I will thirst for 
Him and Him alone 

Sitting outside my restaurant and breathing in the spring air and letting the sunshine soak in my skin, I am begging, pleading and asking for MORE.  I look at this world, all the sickness, pain, brokenness and I beyond heartbroken for it all.  We all as individuals need a Hope Anthem. He will heal the sick, He will heal the brokenhearted, He will heal the pain.  He is alive here. I want more Hope, Joy, Peace and Healing.

What is our Hope set on? What is our families value system based on?  Are we asking for more from Him?

Well, let me tell you friends…THERE IS MORE.  He calls us to greater things.  He is our Father, He doesn’t skimp on His children.  Some of us in our low days think we are only allowed the crumbs from the Fathers table.  We think that or we act like we are the second class citizens in His kingdom.

He has come like the rain 
That showers on the barren plain 
So my heart and tongue confess 
Jesus, Christ the Hope of man 

When you adopt a child that means, that child IS your family, IS your blood.  You don’t give your child from adoption anything different from a child you gave birth to right? NO! He has adopted us, chosen us and will keep choosing us daily even when we run.

We don’t get the crumbs, We get to sit at His table with Him…..GO AND SIT and FEAST.

He is our Hope.  He is our Everything. Ask for more.

He’s inviting us into deeper, closer and a secret place…..GO!  I want to go, I will go as far as He will take me.  I am asking for more of Him.

Soak in this today

Alexa 🙂

We Dance…

Soaking in this today… Will you join me?

We Dance- Bethel Music

You steady me

Slow and sweet, we sway

Take the lead and I will follow
Finally ready now
To close my eyes and just believe
That You won’t lead me
Where You don’t go

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance

And I’ve been told
To pick up my sword
And fight for love
Little did I know
That Love had won for me
Here in Your arms

You still my heart again
And I breathe You in
Like I’ve never breathed ’till now

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance
And we dance
And we dance
Just you and me

And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s ransomed me
The One who gave me joy for mourning
And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s chosen me
The One who set my feet to dancing

Oh we dance
We dance
We dance, we dance
Oh we dance
Just You and me

It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms


Deep Grout Work

It’s a snow day for us here at the Sponcia Home and for East Tennessee!  Its always a gift when these days come.  It is days for rest, recoup and time with family and time with Jesus.  I have never been a person that is able to just sit and rest.  I always have to be doing something.  Cleaning, laundry, on the phone or anything that involved moving.  These snow days have been different for me.  I have worked and got a lot done, I have cooked, I have rested and believe it or not I read!

This morning I woke up from a long night up wrestling with some demons in my head (this is a season for this, sadly).  I got out of bed, made coffee, cooked breakfast for me and Paul and sat and stared at the white blanket over the backyard.  The white blanket is so beautiful, it reminds me that He makes us white as snow.  He takes all of our poop, mess and crap and makes us clean each morning.  His mercies ARE new every morning.  It was a sweet moment thinking about how sweet our Jesus is.  Then, BOOM my ADHD hits me and I look at my kitchen floor and the grout is so gross!  I thought

” I have to clean this now!”

I get my handy dandy grout brush, my chemicals and a towel to clean up.  I stood up and looked how much space I was about to clean I was overwhelmed, so I decided to start small.  I started with 5 tiles at a time.  I started and was amazed how clean the grout was looking.  Little by little I was scrubbing grout and wiping the old dirt off with the towel.

IMG_2751 A little pic of white and black tiles!

I was getting there, slowly and with a lot of elbow grease and scrubbing.  On my knees scrubbing with this little grout brush….

IMG_2752the Lord Says…

“You are worth it, you are worth the elbow grease, scrubbing and being made clean.”

I thought…“Lord you are so sweet to still enter in to my soul while I should be resting in you, you meet me in my crazyville of cleaning!”

I was finished and stood up and saw the finished product.  It was AWESOME!  Shiny, white and looks like a completely different floor!  I was so pumped!

Cleaning up my mess I looked at the towel that I used to wipe the dirt from the grout after scrubbing…ewwww

IMG_2753 I was done!  It was finished…

The Lord makes all things new.  I am forever changed by Him.  I am blown away looking at my floor and thinking about my story.  He gave me free will to run and do my life the way I wanted.  Then He comes in the night and whisks me off my feet.  I remember being in my room one night after I moved to Tennessee and I had nothing left.

My body was worn, my heart was broken, my legs were tired, my hands were empty, my feet had sores, my whole body had cuts and bruises and I was hemorrhaging.  I had no one, I had nothing more to give.  No more lies, no more drugs, no more sex….I was alone.  He came to rescue.  I only wanted Jesus.  I kept saying Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.  He came and stole my heart.  He forgave.  He loved.  He wanted ME.  I imagined Him cleaning my body and face with a towel and the dirt, shame, hurt and pain came off the towel and it looks like my towel above, if not worse.

Form that point forward something dramatically changed in me.  I was forever different and forever in love with my maker.

We worked together to clean out and scrub my “grout.”  It was and still is at times painful but when you stand back and see what Jesus has done in your life, my life and others your amazed.  You feel different and look different.

Are you in the middle of your “grout” work?  Are you tired, worn and want to give up? DON’T, there is more.  He wants to give you all of Him.  The more painful it is during the “grout” work the more beautiful it becomes.  He isn’t leaving you to do the work alone, He is with you, He always has been and will NEVER LEAVE.  Press on Sister, keep moving, you are WORTH the work.

Matthew 11:29The Message (MSG)
28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”


Thank you Jesus for cleaning me and making me new.  Thank you for the deep sadness and pain, because if I didn’t have that I wouldn’t have met the REAL YOU!



via Alexa Sponcia.

Love Day!

I have a love and hate relationship with Valentines Day.  When I was single it was a hate relationship.  I would see all the couples on social media saying sweet things to each other, dinner dates and too mushy mushy! Then I would be dating and I would love it.  Then single again, hate it!

Growing up I watched so many movies and T.V. shows  about love ( Dirty Dancing, Grease, Friends, You’ve Got Mail, anything with Jennifer Aniston) .  The guys and girl fall in love, they go running in a field holding hands, he says the perfect things to her and they live happily ever after.  I wanted to be Rachel and my boyfriend should be Ross (Friends).   What they would never put in the movies and T.V  is real life.  Real fighting, real pain, real hurt, real grieving or even real love.  So needless to say when I got married I was blindsided by any argument.  Now, I will put on record that I am well aware that people fight and people have conflict and people hurt.  I am pretty feisty and witty, I can hold my own!!

What I didn’t know was how long the fights are and how painful they hurt.  I needed harmony and peace ALL THE TIME!

HA!  Little did I know.  Side note: My husband Paul and I love each other so much its kind of creepy.  Anyone we are close with knows our deep love for each other.

After you get married you find out things about each other you didn’t know, or didn’t want to know in my case!  I obviously didn’t get his memo about Valentines Day!  This year he did tell me we aren’t going to do anything, which is totally fine and I was so good with that, BUT…..I went ahead and got him his own cute little brown box with a chalkboard sticker on it that says “I love you babe” and inside was his favorite candies, coffee..etc.  I made him special pancakes too!  He looked at me and said “I thought we weren’t doing anything.”

He was correct! I love giving.  I couldn’t not give him something.  It was Valentines Day for goodness sake!  Well, immediately I feel unwanted, angry and really hurt.  I went about the day sulking.  I mean really sulking, lip out, eyebrows and forehead wrinkled ALL DAY.

In the meantime throughout the day while were hanging out I was telling Jesus “I should have no expectations, I should give without a thought of receiving, I just need to love that Paul is hanging out and we are enjoying each others company.”

I won’t go into the whole rest of the story of us arguing and me eventually crying (which is totally normal!!).  But what I will tell you is….

Jesus gives without any expectation back form us.  He gives freely and loves unconditionally.  We have gifts ALL THE TIME and do we say thank you?  What do we do in return?

Yesterday was hard.  I felt defeated.  I was hurt.  Not to mention we didn’t run in the field holding hands and kissing!

It made me realize how much we are loved by Christ and how much we are given.  I want to live in a place that I have zero expectations of people and meet them right where they are.  I desire for a heart so full of the Spirit that I love giving and loving people and not even thinking or question what am I getting back.  Also, why on one day do we show how much we love people?  Its EVERYDAY.   Valentines Day is a day that is made up for retailers to make a lot of money (my opinion).

I challenge you to make everyday Love Day!


P.S. We ended up having a sweet date last night:) God is so good to weave us together!