I was sitting in Thompson Cancer Center for an appointment and it was the most beautiful and saddest moments of my life. I was already nervous about the appointment thinking about all the outcomes that could happen after this appointment. If I’m being really honest I was really more concerned about myself than anything or anyone else. (I’ll talk about that later!)
When I first arrived I checked in, gave my info, looked around, thought about stuff, filled out paperwork then I sat down with nothing to do besides embrace and be in the moment.
I finally looked around and stopped thinking about me, me and more of me, I felt deep pain for the women, teenagers and men sitting with me.
I sat back and listened in on some of the conversations everyone was having. Some patients were just there to get blood work done, some where there to meet with their doctor and the others that were there were supporting the patient.
I looked over at one women who had no hair and she had two of her friends with her. I listen in on her conversation and my thought was (I bet she is so sad, sad about her hair (I would be!), sad that she has cancer, sad that she’s here). BOY, was I wrong! She was full of joy and hope and love.
I listened into a couple more conversations and it was all “normal” talking. Nothing depressing. Nothing about cancer, just everyday life!
That day changed me forever. I went to my appointment and thought “whatever the results were I choose life and joy!”
I was very disappointed in myself, embarrassed that I care so much about my hair, the way I look and what others think of me.
I look up to those brave and courageous people. I want more of what they have. Which I know is strange Bc I am healthy as the world sees us. But in reality they are more healthy than I am right now!
Daily they choose
Life, joy, peace, hope, no drama, no gossip and they hold on to the promises.
I don’t choose this daily. I want to but my life gets hard and I want to quit. I know it’s a poor excuse but I am being brutally honest.
I left the appointment in awe of The Lord.
This world is so broken, life hands you poop sometimes and even cancer but if we choose life and Jesus then it looks very different. It looks like HOPE.
We are only here on earth for a moment. I want my moment to be amazing and I want my moment to be what and how He wants me to be and do!!
In pain, hurt, disease and sadness- CHOOSE JESUS!! He is the healer, He is the great physician, He gives life!! Open your hands and receive the living water that He has for you.
Stop complaining, moping, being bitter about the past or present- open your hands and receive the real love and truth.