It’s a snow day for us here at the Sponcia Home and for East Tennessee! Its always a gift when these days come. It is days for rest, recoup and time with family and time with Jesus. I have never been a person that is able to just sit and rest. I always have to be doing something. Cleaning, laundry, on the phone or anything that involved moving. These snow days have been different for me. I have worked and got a lot done, I have cooked, I have rested and believe it or not I read!
This morning I woke up from a long night up wrestling with some demons in my head (this is a season for this, sadly). I got out of bed, made coffee, cooked breakfast for me and Paul and sat and stared at the white blanket over the backyard. The white blanket is so beautiful, it reminds me that He makes us white as snow. He takes all of our poop, mess and crap and makes us clean each morning. His mercies ARE new every morning. It was a sweet moment thinking about how sweet our Jesus is. Then, BOOM my ADHD hits me and I look at my kitchen floor and the grout is so gross! I thought
” I have to clean this now!”
I get my handy dandy grout brush, my chemicals and a towel to clean up. I stood up and looked how much space I was about to clean I was overwhelmed, so I decided to start small. I started with 5 tiles at a time. I started and was amazed how clean the grout was looking. Little by little I was scrubbing grout and wiping the old dirt off with the towel.
I was getting there, slowly and with a lot of elbow grease and scrubbing. On my knees scrubbing with this little grout brush….
“You are worth it, you are worth the elbow grease, scrubbing and being made clean.”
I thought…“Lord you are so sweet to still enter in to my soul while I should be resting in you, you meet me in my crazyville of cleaning!”
I was finished and stood up and saw the finished product. It was AWESOME! Shiny, white and looks like a completely different floor! I was so pumped!
Cleaning up my mess I looked at the towel that I used to wipe the dirt from the grout after scrubbing…ewwww
The Lord makes all things new. I am forever changed by Him. I am blown away looking at my floor and thinking about my story. He gave me free will to run and do my life the way I wanted. Then He comes in the night and whisks me off my feet. I remember being in my room one night after I moved to Tennessee and I had nothing left.
My body was worn, my heart was broken, my legs were tired, my hands were empty, my feet had sores, my whole body had cuts and bruises and I was hemorrhaging. I had no one, I had nothing more to give. No more lies, no more drugs, no more sex….I was alone. He came to rescue. I only wanted Jesus. I kept saying Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. He came and stole my heart. He forgave. He loved. He wanted ME. I imagined Him cleaning my body and face with a towel and the dirt, shame, hurt and pain came off the towel and it looks like my towel above, if not worse.
Form that point forward something dramatically changed in me. I was forever different and forever in love with my maker.
We worked together to clean out and scrub my “grout.” It was and still is at times painful but when you stand back and see what Jesus has done in your life, my life and others your amazed. You feel different and look different.
Are you in the middle of your “grout” work? Are you tired, worn and want to give up? DON’T, there is more. He wants to give you all of Him. The more painful it is during the “grout” work the more beautiful it becomes. He isn’t leaving you to do the work alone, He is with you, He always has been and will NEVER LEAVE. Press on Sister, keep moving, you are WORTH the work.
Thank you Jesus for cleaning me and making me new. Thank you for the deep sadness and pain, because if I didn’t have that I wouldn’t have met the REAL YOU!
via Alexa Sponcia.