Love Day!

I have a love and hate relationship with Valentines Day.  When I was single it was a hate relationship.  I would see all the couples on social media saying sweet things to each other, dinner dates and too mushy mushy! Then I would be dating and I would love it.  Then single again, hate it!

Growing up I watched so many movies and T.V. shows  about love ( Dirty Dancing, Grease, Friends, You’ve Got Mail, anything with Jennifer Aniston) .  The guys and girl fall in love, they go running in a field holding hands, he says the perfect things to her and they live happily ever after.  I wanted to be Rachel and my boyfriend should be Ross (Friends).   What they would never put in the movies and T.V  is real life.  Real fighting, real pain, real hurt, real grieving or even real love.  So needless to say when I got married I was blindsided by any argument.  Now, I will put on record that I am well aware that people fight and people have conflict and people hurt.  I am pretty feisty and witty, I can hold my own!!

What I didn’t know was how long the fights are and how painful they hurt.  I needed harmony and peace ALL THE TIME!

HA!  Little did I know.  Side note: My husband Paul and I love each other so much its kind of creepy.  Anyone we are close with knows our deep love for each other.

After you get married you find out things about each other you didn’t know, or didn’t want to know in my case!  I obviously didn’t get his memo about Valentines Day!  This year he did tell me we aren’t going to do anything, which is totally fine and I was so good with that, BUT…..I went ahead and got him his own cute little brown box with a chalkboard sticker on it that says “I love you babe” and inside was his favorite candies, coffee..etc.  I made him special pancakes too!  He looked at me and said “I thought we weren’t doing anything.”

He was correct! I love giving.  I couldn’t not give him something.  It was Valentines Day for goodness sake!  Well, immediately I feel unwanted, angry and really hurt.  I went about the day sulking.  I mean really sulking, lip out, eyebrows and forehead wrinkled ALL DAY.

In the meantime throughout the day while were hanging out I was telling Jesus “I should have no expectations, I should give without a thought of receiving, I just need to love that Paul is hanging out and we are enjoying each others company.”

I won’t go into the whole rest of the story of us arguing and me eventually crying (which is totally normal!!).  But what I will tell you is….

Jesus gives without any expectation back form us.  He gives freely and loves unconditionally.  We have gifts ALL THE TIME and do we say thank you?  What do we do in return?

Yesterday was hard.  I felt defeated.  I was hurt.  Not to mention we didn’t run in the field holding hands and kissing!

It made me realize how much we are loved by Christ and how much we are given.  I want to live in a place that I have zero expectations of people and meet them right where they are.  I desire for a heart so full of the Spirit that I love giving and loving people and not even thinking or question what am I getting back.  Also, why on one day do we show how much we love people?  Its EVERYDAY.   Valentines Day is a day that is made up for retailers to make a lot of money (my opinion).

I challenge you to make everyday Love Day!

Alexa:)

P.S. We ended up having a sweet date last night:) God is so good to weave us together!

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